If you’ve talked to me at all this week you know that a curve ball came our way thrown at us by the military. I am now doing everything I can to make sure things fall into place quickly. I have got to hand it to my village. I was still in shock and didn’t really know where to start. My village came through and talked me through it. My mentor sat with me and helped me list out everything that had to get done. My mom let me cry to her then talked me through the advantages of everything. Many others are making things happen so that we can be taken care of. My point is, they are sharing my troubles with me. They took my problems and made them their own to be proactive in finding solutions.
It was so helpful to get me moving forward. It has made me feel less alone through this whole process and allows me to worry less.
I’m a grown woman. I’ve learned over the years how to cope with things and strategies that help. Yet, I still need the help. If I need this during my troubles, can you imagine what a child needs?
You are your child’s village. You are who they depend on when trouble comes their way in any form. If your child is younger, like mine, they may not having any strategies or coping skills to help them through their troubles. Although to us a cup of spilled cheerios or milk seems so small, to them, it could ruin their day. The best thing I can do in those situations is get down, hug her, and help her clean the mess.
A problem that seems so small to me could be my daughters’ whole world. My daughter has recently been dealing with an issue with her shoes. They have to be just right and feel the same before she can get up and do anything. This often takes more than ten tries (not kidding) and she becomes frustrated. Queue meltdown. It’s a pretty big deal to her.
At first I would become frustrated, I really just wanted to get out the door. After fighting this a few times, I reflected on it. We were getting nowhere. She was melting down, I was yelling over her meltdown and pulling her out the door. This had to stop. After some thought, I realized how this was a huge deal for her. Then we sat down. I hugged her and said, “I’m sorry, I know this is a struggle for you.” I helped her realize that it’s ok to ask for help to get things just right. We agreed that she would try on her own 3 times, then I would step in and help.
You want to know something? It hasn’t been an issue and she hasn’t broken down over her shoes since we’ve started this.
You see, I feel like I’m pretty in tune with sharing my daughter’s troubles when it comes to the big things. Her daddy being gone for work, moving, etc. You know, the troubles that affect me as well. I get those. I can wrap my head around those. It’s the everyday troubles, the ones that I don’t understand, the shoes not fitting right, the monsters under her bed, it’s those I need help in remembering.
I’m the biggest part of her village right now. If I don’t help share her problems, both big and small, then who will?
God gave us each other to help each other and lift each other up. He in fact calls us to share each other’s burdens.
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
Galatians 6:2
We refer to our village and appreciate our village. I even did an earlier blog on this. We can’t forget that our children need a village as well. As they get older and branch out their village will grow. However, we will still be a huge part of it. If we start sharing their troubles with them now, perhaps they will continue to share them with us later. And, maybe, just maybe, we teach them to share others troubles as well.
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