Guarding Your Marriage (Part 2)

A few months ago I wrote a post about guarding your marriage. It’s my favorite blog post that I’ve written to date. My marriage is incredibly special to me and God works in it to bring us closer to him, especially through the messes. It’s beautiful.  I’m here to continue the list I started in that blog post as Joey and I walk through a very new year of marriage.

Be wise about when to keep going and when to stop. Joey and I were out with friends this past weekend and we were having so much fun. However, it was hot and we both don’t do well with crowds. Towards the end of the walk, there were these beautiful ruins that we were admiring from the outside. All of our friends went in while we stayed out and let the girls play and run around. At one point our sweet friends offered to stay with the girls as we went inside. Joey and I started to walk in and then stopped and looked at each other. We had a choice to make. Go look inside, face the crowd and do our best to fight off the grumpiness that was sure to try to creep in. Instead we turned around, went back and opted to stay in good spirits and keep on enjoying our time. We knew we both were not going to be able to handle it, we knew our limit that day. Know when you’ve had enough. Be wise about when to keep going and when to not.

Flirt, flirt,and  flirt some more. My best friend recently reminded of this. It’s my job to lift my husband up. So gals, keep on calling your husband handsome, keep giving him those eyes in public, and remember PDA. Husbands, keep calling your wife beautiful, grab her hand in public. kiss her forehead, all that mushy flirty stuff! ha!

Keep your spouse in the know about your struggles. The daily ones and the larger seasonal ones. I say this keeping in mind wisdom. Your spouse is not a bowl that you pour into and leave to hold the weight. You share your struggle. You let them in and share the weight. This way, no one is on their own through the daily battles the enemy has. Have an open heart to hear their struggles and have compassion. Be empathetic. When your spouse is being open with you about their struggle, this is not the time to be a “one-upper” It’s not the time to mention how exhausted you are all the time, okay Annalisa? haha Seriously, though, they are opening their heart up to you, take it in and guard it. On that note…

Guard your spouses heart. It is not my job as a spouse to take the heart my husband so openly shares with me and offer it up to the enemy. Yep, I said what I said. Here’s what I mean. When you are making choices that affect your spouse in any way do you have their heart in mind when making the decision? Recently, Joey brought an opportunity for his work to me and asked me if I thought it would be a good idea for our family. He laid out the options and the risks. One risk he brought up he paid special attention to and made sure my heart could handle it. He was guarding my heart. He knew that particular risk would hit me harder and he was prepared for it. We prayed over the decision and ultimately opted for him to go for it. It’ not just in the big things though, it’s in the little things. In the daily choices you make in how you talk to and about your spouse. There is wisdom as to how you talk to your spouse and how you talk about your spouse. Yes, even when you’re going through a tough time guys, it’s hard, but there is still wisdom as to how you are speaking of your spouse.

Pray for one another. Why on earth was this not on that first post, I have no idea. When you’re living this life so closely with someone, why would you not pray for them? As Christians, it’s sometimes so easy to pray for those that pop up in our Facebook feeds, or the ones the come up during prayer requests. Let’s not forget our spouse. They need our prayers more than ever. Not only that, if you guys are sharing your struggles, you have very specific prayers to give to the Lord, take that step and give it to him.

When I write these, I write them because I see them working in my own marriage.  Joey and I have struggled both on our own and together. This year has been a breath of fresh air for us as we both enter in it with the fire of the Holy Spirit. Everything I write about guarding your marriage is not one sided for the wife. Joey will be the first one to tell you that. Both Joey and I fail all the time on doing these things but when we don’t fail, our unity works pretty awesomely. Then there is the grace the Lord gives us and we freely give each other for those times that we do fail.

Joey and I don’t have it all together. We don’t have the perfect marriage, in fact it’s VERY far from it. It took a lot to get us here and it will take a lot to get us through the rest of our lives. A lot of prayer, grace, forgiveness, and Gods goodness.