Those of you that know my husband and I personally know that my husband wasn’t always sure about God. He had belief in him but he had serious doubt. Those of you that know my husband and I intimately, know that we have been through the ringer and by the grace of God, at the end of the day my husband and I love the Lord.
When I first married my husband we both had issues. We both thought we knew EVERYTHING. ( I can see my mom rolling her eyes saying to herself, “oh, I remember.”) haha, sorry mom! Anyway, we both made some mistakes. Somehow in the midst of our mistakes and falls, the Lord touched us and continued to reach for both of us. I had been raised in the catholic faith and was in a catholic sorority in college. I knew the Lord and I believed but I had a very wrong image of what a relationship with the Lord looked like. By no ones fault other than my own. It was not until I married my husband that the Lord began to pull on my heart in a way I had never known. Somewhere along the way, he thought it fit to deliver me a best friend who would tell me how important it was to pray for my husband. Guys, I am so thankful because he changed my life through her and everyone I met through her.
OK, so here is my point,about a year after we married I started praying for my husband FIERCELY. I know some of you have been told to start praying for your husband early on like in your teens. Guys, if someone tells you that, do it. Seriously. I don’t remember if anyone ever told me that and if they did, I was too selfish and self-centered to listen.
So here I was already married, realizing I needed to start praying for my husband. These next few points are how I prayed for him from where I started to now. Let me be clear, despite how beautiful it sounds, praying for your husband fiercely is not always beautiful, in fact sometimes it’s down right ugly, but the fruit it produces is heavenly. Here we go:
Check yourself. Your heart MUST be in the right place first. If there is no conviction in your own life, if your darkness is not in the light, your prayers are bias and foggy. In other words they fall short. So ask the Lord to reveal to you the spots in your life where you are falling short of being a woman of God. For example, early on in this walk when I was asking the Lord to reveal this to me, he revealed the selfishness and unfair thoughts I had toward Joey on a daily basis. In other words, I was praying for qualities like patience and steadiness in my husband yet I wasn’t even reflecting those in my relationship with him. How could I pray for patience over my husband when I was being incredibly impatient with him?
Surround yourself with women who also pray for their husband. My bible study group recently got together and dedicated a night on praying for our husbands and sharing what we do to pray for our husbands. Guys, I cannot stress how important it is to have these people. Early on in my walk it was other women who gave me incredible resources, an amazing little book, guidance on what to say in my prayers, all of it. It’s those same women who convict me today to keep praying for my husband. It’s these women who give me new ways to pray for him. So, no matter where you are in your walk or how comfortable you feel praying for your husband, these women are always important. Solidarity, y’all.
I prayed specifically into certain aspects of my husband’s life. I prayed over his work. I prayed over his heart, his choices, his friendships, his health, and everything in between. Let me be clear in saying that I never pray for a certain outcome. I still don’t. My next point may give a clearer picture. Point is, I pray for peace and Joy in his life despite the outcome or circumstance.
I prayed Godly characteristics over my husband. I found these in Gods word. I would literally read Gods word, find the characteristics that were exhibited and pray those over my husband. For example, I prayed patience like Abraham and Sarah over him. I prayed for wisdom like Elijah. Obedience like Moses. Diligence like Paul. You get the picture. It helped me to know what to pray into my husband. It still does. In any aspect in his life, I pray these characteristics into him. If he’s going through a tough time in one aspect I’ll pray specific characteristics over him that will help him overcome. If he’s not, I’ll pray these over him generally and daily.
I prayed for my husband’s relationship with God more than any of the above. I remember nights where I was in tears praying that he would see how God loves him, that he would see his worth in God. I prayed that he would grow closer to him, That his heart would soften and open to him. I could see how much God loved him and longed for him but I prayed that he would see it. Guys, this is my one warning for you, when you are praying for it this hard, you get an answer. It may not be one you expect but you will absolutely get an answer. I interceded for my husband very boldly and fervently. My prayers were answered boldly. My answer came 5 years after I began this prayer journey. For some, it comes sooner, for others later. For some, this prayer is answered in a very different way. Your walk is not mine and mine is not yours.
Lastly, do not be afraid to ask the Lord to use you. In fact I think you should. I ask the Lord all the time to give me words, actions, and thoughts that reflect him to my husband. If my husband can’t see Jesus in me, what does that say about my love for God? Asking the Lord to use you gives your husband a tangible visual of God. If he can see the characteristics of God in you, there is a chance he’ll start to see where they come from. (God himself!) It also keeps you in check. Refer to my first point. Can’t be doing the Lords work while not actively keeping an eye on and searching your blind spots. Let’s be clear, You can do the Lords work with your shortcomings, the key lies on whether you choose to continually to ask the Lord to work on your heart. The Lord continues to reveal to me on how to love my husband. What that looks like, sounds like, etc. What it is for me, may look very different for you, but the prayer is the same. God, I pray that you would use me to show my husband you. To show him your love, grace, and joy.
I don’t know everything there is to know about praying for your husband. What I do know is what works for me. I do know that intercession works. I probably need a whole other post for this topic! I do know that praying for your husband at times, is hard and some days your heart is not in the right place to pray things over your husband. Look at my first and last point y’all. Your prayer and intercession begins and ends with where you stand with the Lord.
My husband will be the first to tell you that prayers for him were a critical aspect in bringing him to faith. I can also tell you that no one will pray for your husband the way you do, so go ahead and pray.
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