When I go into worship, one of the first things I whisper over and over is, “Lord, I want to come for you. you alone.” I think there is something very real and raw that happens when we come simply because God is God. Which is what sparked this post.
I prayed for years in the early part of our marriage that Joey would come to know the Lord. I grew fond of praying for my husband and love to do it daily. I prayed fervently over him and his heart. Then something incredible happened. Five years into our marriage my husband came to know Jesus so intimately it radically changed our marriage for the better.
But then, reality hit. My world was turned upside down. I had to learn how to take a step back as the only spiritual leader in the house. I had to let go of reigns I never knew I had. You see, it’s fairly common to see the help and guidance offered to spouses on how to pray through a marriage where they are the only christian; but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen guidance on the craziness that comes if you find yourself married to quite literally a new spouse in the same body.
Five years into our marriage, thats where I found myself. I was so thankful yet so confused at how upside down my life had gone. So many wise friends told me I still had the lens of the past on, that I needed to ask the Lord for vision to see my husband through his eyes and be able to let go of things that did not belong to me. I needed to be able to share the load when it came to choosing lessons for our kids, prayers as a family, choosing a church etc. Things that I was so used to just handling. That truly helped me walk through the transition into the new beautiful dynamic of our home.
After it was all said and done I came to the Lord and said, I don’t ever want something that you deliver as a gift and should be joyful to be that rocky again. What began to unfold was revelation that I apply to any and every aspect of my life.
You see, I was so focused on what I was longing for the Lord to do, that when it happened, I had to gain sight of WHO God was again. That sounds awful but y’all its the truth. I believe so many times we focus on the what God does and how God does it that we forget that our focus should always just be on God. God is moving and is very much alive. It’s all over the bible and it’s all over our world. However, if those things become my sole focus, ever, I begin to lose sight of the bigger picture.
I believe in a God who answers prayers, He shows up big all the time. However, if I begin to focus on what God does in my life instead of who He is, I begin to love God for what He does instead of who He is. That is not a place I want to be. Thats not how God loves me and it’s not how He loves you. When we place the focus on the what it means, when circumstance changes, we discern incorrectly, we make an unwise choice, etc. we are shaken. Our world shakes and we fall thinking that we somehow missed something. Even more so when God does show up big, we see only what He did and not Him and His goodness. There has to be more.
I have seen God do big things and I see the move of the Spirit daily. Those things are others ways for me to meet my Father more intimately. They are vessels of Him for the world. Gifts to glorify Him. Used so the world can see who He is. So the world can meet Him intimately.
Keep praying for big things. Keep believing Jesus for the big and small because He truly has no limits. Shifting our focus back to God doesn’t change anything of what He is doing here but it does change how I respond to those things He is doing. We come for Jesus. We come to God simply because He is God. A sovereign, just, gracious, merciful and good God.
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